*Originally published May 7, 2016

Every major holiday has its detractors and cheerleaders. Halloween is considered satanic by some and a hoot for others. Christmas is either a pagan celebration engorged with extravagance or an ethereal event. Which, of course, brings us to Mother’s Day. And it has its detractors also. Various ethnographers date the observance for Mother’s Day all the way from the most primitive cultures to the 21st century. Therefore lots of traditions are feeding the stream.

It doesn’t take many brain cells to admit that there are some women who should never have birthed a baby, are cold, uncaring, and abusive, and in a nutshell: have done more harm than good to their child or children. But here comes Mother’s Day and the combination of guilt and “bad-daughter” rears up in the conscience of the daughter or son who wants to “honor” the mother, yet is torn by what that means.

Two books in the Bible, Exodus and Deuteronomy, have the Commandments. The fifth is similar in both (Exodus 20:12 & Deuteronomy 5:16). We are to honor the parent, in order that our life will be long on the land given by God. Honoring is not the same as obeying. It is about respect and paying attention to someone. I have heard too many people say, “I am determined to do exactly the opposite from what my mother (or father) did when I was growing up.” Sadly, that is paying attention, but it may be necessary for some.

Being a mother is more than a biological process. Thank God for the women who, without giving birth, have nurtured many. When the birth mother is unable to cherish the child, they have mothered: a gift in the present and for generations yet unborn. With their generosity of spirit the world is healthier and richer because of them.

In case you are wondering, my mom was a fabulous role model, giving me my foundation and independence to become the person I was created to be. I honor that and still living into that.

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